I love love. I love to show love and I love to be loved. I love hugging and talking, hugging and listening. So some of you are saying “Big whoop, yeah, yeah we see you huggin’, kissin’, talkin’, listenin’ all the time.”
I know, I know! I know that you know. But since becoming an MBW (Menopausal Black Woman), I’ve changed and am changing.
On Friday night I had a musical mountaintop experience — Rickie Byars Beckwith came to town! According to her biography, Rickie BB “is one of the 21st century’s most revered singer- songwriters whose transcendent music opens the heart, touches the soul, and uplifts the spirit.”
Yes, she is as her bio says and so much more. I’ve heard of Rickie BB and heard her on CD. But she like most artistic musicians, is on a whole ‘nother level in person. She’s love personified!
She exuded love and sanctification. From our 4:00 rehearsal to the 8:00 concert, it was all about love. How else can you explain a 45-voice choir from various churches with only one rehearsal on the day of the concert, singing angelically and funkily in harmony?
So as many of you know, I love to sing. But there was something different about this musical lovefest. The difference was me!
With most musical concerts, I’ve usually played a duo role – singer and co-organizer. And because of those roles, I’m always on, up in spirit and energy, spreading the love.For this concert, I felt no need to insert myself to help with the organizing. Ok, let me be honest. There was a twinge of “Ooh let me help.” But there was a voice that said, “No daughter, they got this!”
So, I was able to sing and love, love and sing as I’ve never done before.
I even went into a quiet dressing room. Most of the ladies went upstairs to a dorm-like dressing room that accommodated 40 people. I later found out that that space was intended for the men of the choir, but the women commandeered the space because of the comfy couches and mirrors.
Being in the quiet dressing room was quite by accident. Although you know the saying, THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS! I was being a good soldier, going where they told us to go. And, I spent quiet time with 3 other “rebel” soldiers.
It was so relaxing! Relaxed bonding – what a concept?
At the post-concert reception, I didn’t run, flit, and hug. I slowly allowed the love wash over me (one of our songs). I just let it be. No speed networking here. Just loving and hugging new and old friends.
Now for the ENFP reference…. ENFP is one of the temperaments described by Myers-Briggs theory. Extraverted (yes, I spelled it correctly), iNtuiting, Feeling, and Perceiving. According to Harold Grant, we spend certain periods of our lives developing each of the 4 elements separately.
Birth to 6 years old is when a child develops into an Extravert or an Introvert. I’m told I would hug just about anybody during that time. So guess what? I evolved into an Extravert. I continued to evolve during ages 6-12, 13-20, 21-35, 35-55, and over 55 as Grant’s Theory predicted. (Ask me about it if you’re interested in my mapping your development.)
According to the theory, I spent ages 21-35 being an extraverted thinker. Thus my need to not only sing, but to also be part of organizing committees – I was an Action-oriented Innovator. From ages 35-55, my energy has been spent focusing on Introversion and Sensing – i.e., being a Thoughtful Realist.
All I know is that I now revere quiet time a lot more than I ever have in life. Quiet love, versus big boastful love. I’ve been musing over the change for a while, but couldn’t put my finger on it; couldn’t define it. Who knew that it was under my nose all the time – in my Myers-Briggs certification manual?
I know I’m not the only one changing. What have you noticed about the changing you? C’mon, it’s confession time!
Would love to hear from you.
Until then, love you mean it, TODAY, in a quiet sort of way!
This is beautiful, Lori. As an on-the-fence I/E NFJ, I so relate to your comments. I re-charge in the quiet times. I need it before and after singing. Thank you for sharing the love and your experiences.
Lori, I LOVE YOUR BLOGS! You always inspire the writer within. This one really caused me to reflect on my own personal transition into the Menopausal Black Woman and try to remember my Myers Briggs temperament. It was done back in grad school over 15 yrs ago. And you the MBW can’t remember that far back
However, i find myself enjoying much more quiet reflection and quiet love as well. Thank you soooo much for sharing your work. Be Blessed